so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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