The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you win again, gameday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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