It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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