She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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