I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
