I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
