I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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