So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
