You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
