I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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