Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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