No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
