dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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