hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
