We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
