I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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