Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so let's talk penis.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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