that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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