if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
