We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
