operation harelip BJ is a go
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
