We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
