Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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