so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
