You can't motorboat a personality
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
