scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
