you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
