I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize