Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
