I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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