No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
