Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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