On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
be right there i have to get my cape
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
