It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
