TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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