Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
