I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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