i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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