Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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