Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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