season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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