new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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