So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
COCAINE IS GR8
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
