I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
