im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We are two peas in an std pod
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize