He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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