She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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