All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
