My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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