I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
