i jhust puked up my retainher.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
