Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
