please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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