Sacagawea was the original milf.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
