I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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