Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
