I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't deserve a penis
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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