apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
