Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
