Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
