so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
