he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Alive.
So much puke
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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