Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
