threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
