I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
