Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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