apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize