just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
