He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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