why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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