think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
